Today I went back to school. Literally, I was invited to open school day. Parents and grandparents could go and sit in the class of their kids and see what a school day looks like.
I found it an incredibly enriching opportunity, finally I could find out what I always wanted to know.
I always wondered how new letters, words or numbers, were thought to my kids. It was so long ago that I learned it myself, that I couldn’t remember.
What struck me, was the way things are thought to the kids, it is very instructive and straightforward, and the teachers really need a good deal of common sense and leadership in order to keep a class of approximately 20 kids focused on the task.
But still the teachers use a style that only suits about 70% of the class, there are always a few that do not learn that way and that have difficulties following.
I will not elaborate on my view on traditional teaching because that would fill up an entire book, but I can tell you that I am very aware of what traditional school teaching can do to my kids and I am very sensitive to any sign of de-motivation or a loss of will to learn. I constantly encourage my boys to learn and not be afraid of learning, even when being discouraged or facing what seems like impossible obstacles.
Sometimes I think of my oldest son as being a little Harry Potter. He might not have magical powers, although his power of absorbing new things as he goes along in life sometimes is magical! He has the same kind of posture as Harry, he is tall but very thin and boney, sometimes it seems as if his bones just stick out of his body. His clothes always seem too big for him. He does not wear glasses but when you look at his pensive face, you could very well imagine him wearing glasses. He is such an intelligent little guy, he reads constantly, he thinks about every single thing that comes along his way and most remarkable is that he wants to become a scientist, not a fireman, not a doctor or a teacher, no he wants to become a scientist. If you ask him why, he will answer, very confidently, because he wants to know “almost” everything. Because knowing everything is impossible.
My youngest son is different, he is my little “incredible”. He is very physical, has a good proportioned body, is very muscled and loves to run, jump, play and be a clown. His goal in life is to make others laugh. He on the contrary wants to become a fireman, or at least that is his current dream. His dreams change quite frequently and that is fine. He also is very intelligent but he prefers doing things rather than studying things. It also shows in the ways he wants affection, he always wants to cuddle and hug, needs to touch you in some way while his brother doesn’t that much.
A while ago I read this book in which was explained that it is normal that as a parent you have a preference for a certain kid, because it is more like you or because you both have the similar values. However, I can’t agree with that, you can always find similar values, and it doesn’t really matter how many of them are similar. What is important is that you value the kid and his character as he or she is, not trying to make him as you are.
What is true is that it might be easier to relate to someone that has mostly the same values or characteristics than you have, but that is the case with anyone, not just your kids and if you are like me, you try harder to understand those that are different, rather than only connecting with those that are similar.
In my kids case, I don’t see any one of them as being more like me, they both have characteristics that are similar to mine, as they have characteristics similar to their father and even to my boyfriend. I do love them unconditionally.
Thank you for reading my dear readers,